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TheLastDisneyToon's Wooden Thomas and Friends Remake 20: No Joke for James (George Carlin-US)
Here is TheLastDisneyToon's twentiefth Thomas and Friends remake, told by George Carlin for the US. Cast No Joke for James (George Carlin-US) *Thomas *Henry *Gordon *James *Percy *Sir Topham Hatt *Coaches *Foolish Freight Cars *Cabooses Special Guests *Metropilian Tank Engine Nameplates *Thomas *James *Gordon *Henry *Edward *Percy *Toby *Bertie *Terence *Sir Topham Hatt Transcript No Joke for James (George Carlin-US) *Narrator: James is a mixed traffic engine. (James puffs by, hauling seven freight cars and a caboose) He can pull both freight cars and coaches. (James goes by, hauling Stephen's coaches) He's proud of his smart red paint and so is his driver. *James' Driver: Everyone says you brighten up your day, James. *Narrator: One morning, James whistled loudly at the other engines. *James: Look at me! I'm a smartest most useful engine on the line! *Thomas: Rubbish. *Narrator: Replied Thomas. *Thomas: We're all useful. Sir Topham Hatt says so and he's headed the whole railway. *Percy: You know what, James? *Narrator: Added Percy. *James: What? *Narrator: Replied James. *Percy: You're getting all puffed out. *Narrator: James huffed away. (James puffs away and meets up with Gordon) Later, he was still boasting. *James: I'm the pride of the line. *Gordon: I saw you pulling freight cars. You're only a goods engine. *James: I've pulled coaches too. *Gordon: Not as much as I do. *James: But Sir Topham Hatt has plans for me. *Narrator: James was making this up but Gordon believe him. *Gordon: What plans? *James: Uh, wait and see. Oh dear. *Narrator: He thought. *James: Now what'll I do? (Gordon puffs away) *Narrator: Thomas was shunting shiny new coaches. (Thomas shunts a red and yellow Express coach at the front, a red and white Knapford coach in the first middle, Old Slow Coach in the second middle, Spencer's red Express coach in the third middle, and a red mail car at the end together) *Thomas: Good morning, James. *James: Are those coaches for me? *Narrator: Asked James hopefully. *Thomas: No, these are for Gordon's Express. I'll fetch your freight cars next. (Metropolian passes by, hauling four Gresley Teak coaches) *Narrator: But James was going to play a trick on the other engines. *James: Actually, Thomas, I'm taking the coaches. Sir Topham Hatt asked me to tell you. *Thomas: What about the cars? *Narrator: Asked Thomas. *James: Uh, give them to Gordon. *Thomas' Driver: Come on, Thomas. *Narrator: Said his driver. *Thomas' Driver: Orders and orders. (Thomas puffs away) *Narrator: So when James' driver returned, James was coupled to the coaches and he puffed away. (James gets coupled up to the red and yellow Express coach, red and white Knapford coach, Old Slow Coach, Spencer's red Express coach, and the red mail car and speeds away) Thomas returned with the freight cars. And a few minutes later, Gordon arrived. (Thomas reverses ten freight cars and a caboose together when Gordon arrives) *Gordon: Where's the express? *Narrator: Thomas told him about James. *Thomas: And so here are your cars. *Narrator: Gordon was very cross and so his driver. (Thomas puffs away) *Gordon's Driver: Wait'll Sir Topham Hatt heres about this. *Narrator: Meanwhile James was enjoying himself enormously. (James speeds over a viaduct) *James: What a clever plan! What a clever plan! (speeds through the forest) *Narrator: He chuffed. Then he saw Sir Topham Hatt. (arrives at Elsbridge station) *Sir Topham Hatt: Some jokes are funny, but not this one, James. You have caused confusion. *James: Yes Sir. *Narrator: Said James. *Sir Topham Hatt: You will now stay in your shed until you are wanted. (James runs light) *Narrator: The other engines teased James. *Gordon: I wonder who'd be pulling the express today? *Narrator: Said Gordon. *Henry: I expect it'll be you. *Narrator: Replied Henry. *Henry: James is stuck in the shed for being silly. *Narrator: James felt sad. Next morning, he went back to work. *Thomas: Hello. *Narrator: Whistled Thomas. *Thomas: Good to see you out and about again. *James: I'm sorry I tricked you. *Narrator: Said James. *James: Are these my cars? *Thomas: Yes. *Narrator: Replied Thomas kindly. *Thomas: They're please to have you back. (puffs away) *Narrator: James set off to the harbour with a train of freight cars. He bustled about all day pushing and pulling them into place. (various shots of James shunting lots of freight cars together are shown) *James' Driver: Time to go home now, James. *Narrator: Said his driver at last. *James' Driver: No cars or passengers. Just we too. *Narrator: But his driver was wrong. *Railway Inspector: Excuse me. *George Carlin: Said the man. *Railway Inspector: I have a meeting with Sir Topham Hatt and I mustn't be late. May I ride back with you? *James' Driver: Of course. *Narrator: Replied James' driver. Then he whispered to James. *James' Driver: This gentleman is a railway inspector. *Narrator: James was most impressed. He steamed along the line as smoothly and quickly as he could. Sir Topham Hatt was waiting on the platform and the railway inspector greeted him warmly. (James speeds along the line toward Knapford station) *Railway Inspector: This clever engine gave me a splendid ride. You must be proud of him. *Sir Topham Hatt: Yes indeed. Once again, you are a really useful engine. Nameplates *Thomas is shown. *James is shown. *Gordon is shown. *Henry is shown. *Edward is shown. *Percy is shown. *Toby is shown. *Bertie is shown. *Terence is shown. *Sir Topham Hatt holds out a sign that says 'Next Story Coming Up Soon!' Category:TheLastDisneyToon